Required! Highlight-and-explain every single change you make in your rewrite, every single time. Use the margin-comments feature in your word-processor to do so.
Required! Add a brief overall Self-Evaluation typed into the “Assignment Comments” box to the right of the text box – that’s the same place I’m posting these overall comments now. In your self-evaluation, present an overview of your most important edits and improvements, plus a statement about what you have learned by rewriting this essay which can be applied in your future writing projects also.
HOW TO REWRITE FOR MORE POINTS
1. Fix a few minor MLA Format problems as explained in my margin notes.
2. Use a less formal/impersonal tone in the opening paragraph. For American College-level audiences this level of impersonal formality sounds a bit too stiff and robotic.
3. Introduce your outside source (Brock) and why you chose it. In future, you would impress college-level profs more by quoting from published book reviews and interviews instead of high-school level study guides.
4. Following Brock’s lead your “focus” is extremely broad — and gets a bit confusing in the middle. Having a clearer Thesis Paragraph Preview on page one will help. But in future consider narrowing the focus of your analysis to just one character’s influence on Xiomara. That will allow your analysis to dive much, much more in-depth in future — and help you lose your “high school accent.”